Call Me Crazy …. But …

And believe me, I can't believe I'm saying this, but it is nice to see some real New England Winter weather today. Even though the impending Snow Storm wreaked havoc on my Fibromyalgia symptoms yesterday, I'm enjoying this wintery day.

This morning I thought Shrek had an appointment today, but he said no, it's Friday. With the winter weather getting worse later in the day, I told him I was not going to have the truck today because I was not going to drive in this weather, no matter what. I cannot handle the focus I need to have on the road, other drivers, it completely exhausts me (thanks Fibro!), AND I wanted to sleep in this morning. Guess What???

It Was “I” Who Had a Dr. Appointment....

Thank goodness Mr. M's office is within walking distance, and I was actually looking forward to the walk. It is a great time for me to be “Mindful” of what I experience on the walk, and I'd be leaving and getting home before the storm was supposed to get here. Leaving in plenty of time, I started on my journey, enjoying the chirps of the birds, paying attention to how individual cars' engines sound differently, noticing bushes with bare branches, and the trees with gnarled branches. Not to mention the Architecture on some of these old houses! (That's another blog, when I can take Shrek with me to take pictures of what I saw.)

If you look close, you can see a grapevine wreath, and a curtain
valance at the top

Check out this Re purposed Window Frame.  Not the greatest picture, but it is adorable.

One of the unique things about New England weather is how quickly it can change, and change it did. I was almost there when I noticed the first flurries tumble down. Light, tiny, whispy flakes. I smiled.......go ahead, call me crazy!

As much as the weather changes bother my Fibromyalgia, and I get chilled to the bone so easily, I missed the “quiet” the snow brings. An hour later, the flakes were tumbling more quickly. I bundled up with my extra wide, extra long scarf and began the walk home. A whole new landscape for me to see, and I smiled.

Call Me Crazy!

Welcome to FibroFog

This morning, I was talking to my Bestie "Queen Colleen" (my granddaugter when she said Aunt Colleen, it sounded like Queen Colleen, and it stuck...it is also quite befitting) while I was trying to help my granddaughter get ready for school.  "go brush your hair, pancakes or chocolate chip waffles (frozen), all while the Queen was on speaker, AND I was the one trying to talk to her.  Wasn't working out too good.  My mind was so confused, I couldn't get out what I wanted to say, couldn't get the pancakes in the toaster.  I was DAZED and CONFUSED.  Thank goodness I can laugh about it now, but in the beginning days of my Fibromyalgia, I didn't laugh too often at this stuff.  Of course my bestie said "Annie, you can call me back...we don't have to talk right now, as she laughed".  She could definitely tell I was in a "STATE" of "MIND".

Anyway, grandaughter walked to school in the nice cool (cold) fresh New England Air and a trip to the basement to unearth some of the things I have left over from my flea market booth so I can sell on ebay.  That meant three flights of stairs to  get to my haven.  My brain litterally feels fuzzy and spongy and my hands and legs are shaky.

Can Anyone Relate?

So it's bed, heating pad on the feet, laptop on the lap, and switching between Auction Hunters and AMC Movie Desperate Measures.

I'll shut up in a minute.  I tend to digress (thanks to my ADD) and I love to think and get things off my mind, so...here's my last bit:  One of My Pet Peaves

When friends and acquaintances, who don't really "GET" Fibromyalgia, say, "I wish I could stay in bed and watch TV all day."

Not sure about my other Spoonies, but seriously, 'NO YOU DON'T.  Not when you don't have a choice of whether you do it or not.

Can The Sounds We Hear Bring Us To A Slower Pace?

How many of you have a hard time finding the time to meditate throughout your day? I know I do, even though I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that it makes me feel so much better. Even before I had Fibromyalgia, I meditated to bring my stress level back down to a “0” on the “StressoMeter”.  

I'm not sure how other “Spoonies” feel, but because it takes me forever to finish a task, no matter how simple it may be, and because I have to stop and rest, not only my body, but my mind, it takes up those precious “spoons” of time and energy. So, I Do Not want to give up my precious time, and I try to stretch it whenever possible, even though I know that the mediation would help.

While discussing this with the “infamous Mr. M”, he suggested that some time in the morning I stop and mediate for ten minutes. I could choose any type of meditation, mind picture, prayer, body scan, sound. Since we had experimented with the Sound Meditation at our last session, and I really liked how it gave me a mindful state of mind, that is what I chose. He suggested I do it the same time, to develop the habit. Now, in my mind, my Type A personality immediately went to “ok, I'll do sound meditation every day at 9:30”. No sooner did I say that in my mind, than he says “ start with two or three days a week”. Humpff, ok. So I chose Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

Last week was a blowout (or is that bust?? FibroMind). I would remember when I was doing my afternoon prayer meditation/nap, or when I was going to bed, OR it wasn't on a Monday, Wednesday, or Friday...I remembered this week, and wrote it in my planner.

Of course, being Type A, I decided to do my morning Sound Meditation after I walked my granddaughter to school, and continued on to the Post Office to mail a package (multi-tasking? - mindful?...you decide...). Although we live on the fringe of a Quaint New England Town, there is a lot of traffic, especially on a Monday morning. The first thoughts that went through my mind as I began to focus on the sounds around me was “how can meditating on sound while you're around traffic be mindful?” As I got away from the traffic, I began to hear the birds. There were some birds chirping on the left of me, and it sounded like another bird on the right of me chirped back; there were some other birds, I think finches, just a jabbering away. It almost sounded as if they were all scurrying to get on with their day, chirping to each other in a rushed way, kinda like the sounds I hear while my kids are getting ready for school, and we're all bustling around the house. There was also the clanging of the pully on the flag pole. I was really hoping for some different sounds that were barely noticeable, unless you were meditating on sound, but I guess it was just too busy around me.

On the way back, I continued to meditate on the sounds around me. The same birds, flagpoles, and traffic. I breathed in the crisp, fresh air and realized I was walking slower, felt a peace throughout my body, and a relaxed state of mind and body. Approaching the busy intersection, the noise of the traffic became a little louder, so I used a tactic I use with my kids when they say they don't like a person, a place, a thing, whatever. “Choose to find something good, even just one thing, in that person, place, or thing. As a truck pulled up to the stop light, I listened to the sounds the truck made. The rumble of the engine as it slowed down, the sound of the tires on the sandy road as they came to a slow stop, and that noise a large diesel truck makes when it stops, as if it is letting out a few sighs. When the light turned green and the truck began to move, there were the sounds of the engine revving up, the shifting of the gears, the power of the diesel engine as it seemed to take in deep breaths to move the truck forward, and the gears, I could hear the clicking of the gears as the driver shifted. I smiled. Listening, really listening to the sounds of the “noisy truck” put me in touch with that moment in time. Isn't that what mindful living is about? Living in the moment of time.